You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
