If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
