The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
Randomize
