I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
Randomize
