"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
Randomize
