i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize
