Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
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