forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
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