I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
