so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
Randomize
