plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
