Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
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