I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
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