From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
Come back. Shots need mouths.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
Randomize
