He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
Randomize
