how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
