I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
