$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Randomize