"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
Randomize
