I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
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