it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Randomize
