I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
Girls should come with a carfax report
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
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