the new term for farting is butt boxing.
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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