Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
Randomize
