I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
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