Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
So. Much. Porn.
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