Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Randomize
