Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
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