I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
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