matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
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