Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
Randomize
