i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Randomize
