69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
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Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
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Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
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