Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
