i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Randomize
