she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
Sober January is a disaster.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Randomize
