Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
Randomize
