Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
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