But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
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