i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Randomize
