Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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