I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
Randomize
