I'm jealous of your bromance
I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
