just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Randomize
