Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Randomize
