The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
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