i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
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I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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