his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
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