Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
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