Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
Randomize
