I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
