But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
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