I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
Randomize
