We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
Randomize
