My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
Randomize
