I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
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