I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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