Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
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