if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Randomize
