I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
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