That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Randomize
