She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize
